Have you experienced a situation that make you feel as if you were on the confusing crossroads? A part of you telling you to take the right path while the other part of you telling you to take the left path. Even when you've decided to take the left path, another part of you, strongly  pulling you back to the intersection and then telling you back to take the right path. Have you….?

I'm sure we all have. So, if we all have experienced it, what is the importance of my question above?

Let me explain: in certain cases, such as the above conditions can cause an effect on us that sometimes were beyond expectations. And most of the time, this effect can be particularly troublesome to us in everyday life. Is that so? Yep ... as a therapist I have experienced with cases like this when dealing with a client in a hypnotherapy session

Let say His name is Hendrik, 27 years old, single. One afternoon after making an appointment over the phone he met me at the office to do Hypnotherapy to resolve his problem. He came alone, looks shy as he tried to hide the obvious anxiety in his face.

After chatting for a moment, he began to talk about his complaint. And according to Hendrik confession, he felt that he had the Erectile Dysfunction, aka ED for a sudden. According to him, the disease appeared just after he came home from camp which was held in Kedung Ombo.

To recover his illness, he has sought medical treatment, and according to him, he did not get a satisfactory result. Even when he was also treated with rukyah Syari'ah methods. The recovery he felt after doing rukyah Syariah, only lasted for a week. He felt confused and frustrated especially facing his marriage plans in the  future that quite close.

After going through a long process of dialogue and giving him understanding about what  is hypnosis and what is hypnotherapy, we agreed to use hypnotherapy methods to handle his problems. As soon as everything is ready, I guided Hendrik with hypnosis techniques for relaxation, until he reaches the necessary trance, to then find the source of the problem and solve it.

This is the part of our conversations:

Budhi : Hendrik, I will ask your subconscious mind and please answer me honestly. What do you feel now?

Hendrik : (Closed eyelids) ... I think I can feel that I have erectile dysfunction (ED) problem.

Budhi : Are these feelings really come now?

Hendrik : Yes .. it really feels.

Budhi : Now I want you to remember deeper, have these feelings come before?

Hendrik : Once, when I came home from camp activities in Kedung Ombo.

Budhi : Please deeper... Try to remember once again... Does a similar feeling ever appeared before?

Hendrik : (His closed eyelids twitched, and after taking a long breath he replied) Yes ... after I get yelled at my fiancee.

Budhi : Can you tell me what happened then?

Hendrik : My girlfriend (=  fiancee. (red)) was furious because I did not call her a long time and did not come to her home.

Budhi : How do you feel that time?

Hendrik : I'm confused .... Upset .... And I was afraid of losing her.

Budhi : What makes you confused and upset?

Hendrik : (His eyes twitched again and he became agitated. Suddenly, he spoke at length as if he wanted to spill his anxiety that has been felt for so long). I'm confused ..., I am a layman in the religion .. I have a study group that suggesting that it should not be dating, it acts toward adultery. I know that the proposition exists, but I still often wonder, is it possible if people get married without dating first. From not knowing each other at all and suddenly get married.

I also want to get married but with just ordinary person in the beginning, and then together to learn religion. I'm pissed off ... I can not take this opinion into my study group...they will beat my opinion. I tried to follow my study group's opinion, so I am not dating adventurous…I even rarely communicate with my girlfriend. But as the result, she was furious ... and I was afraid he would broke up with me.

(He pauses and then continued to talk after a sigh).

I already love her and wanted to marry her immediately.

Budhi : (Aha! ... ... Here's the root of the problem!) Hendrik .... What do you think, the response of your recitation friends when they know about this problem?

Hendrik : My friends would be angry if they knew I was dating. They would say that I close to adultery ... ... tempted by women... tempted by devil ... and others. I know my friends opinion were right, but I'm also not too adventurous on the dating too...

Budhi : So what do you think about your friend opinion and your own opinion?

Hendrik : I think both are right and I want to follow both.

At this point the problem becomes clear that Hendrik experiencing internal conflict.. His conscious mind says that he was a layman and he wants to marry a lay person and study religion together after their marriage. Therefore he decided to dating without adventurous relationship.  But his subconscious mind urge him to follow his friend opinion that has become his own opinion. Dating is not allowed because it close to adultery. So he tried to compromising both of those opinion that led to the term "dating without adventurous".

But it make his girlfriend furious, because she felt her boyfriend didn't pay attention to her. In one side, Hendrik worried if his recital friend found out if he do the dating, but in another side, he also afraid to lose his girlfriend. On the peak of these internal conflict, his guilty feeling emerges, which then unwittingly, his subconscious mind  move to punish him self as a form to cover the guilty feeling.  That what make Hendrik feel that he has erectal dysfunction (ED) suddenly.

So, how did Hendrik the bachelor believe so sure that he has erectile dysfunction disorder? In a follow-up therapy sessions above, the question was answered by Hendrik himself, where he thought he knew because he was testing his own assumptions by imagining his girlfriend. And he thinks the results said that he felt "powerless". This convince him that he had the ED. He didn't realize that these activities accumulating guilt, and his subconscious are getting stronger to punish him.

My dear friends, the point that I want to telll you is, you must be smart compromising with your own self, because there is nothing more exhausting war except the war with yourself. Seek the comprehension more deeper of something that will become our values. Beware of your internal conflicts, as they may be bring you to the unexpected effect.

And what with Hendrik now? Don't worry...once we know the root of his problem then the healing process is relatively easy. By combining several hypnotherapy techniques that are not too complicated, then in the afternoon he could go home with a beaming and optimistic face. My message is short enough to him, "Hendrik ... back to my office for other business and get married immediately!*